


Kokoshnik

by OvereducatedAndOverworked



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Gen, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-09-07 02:45:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8780116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OvereducatedAndOverworked/pseuds/OvereducatedAndOverworked
Summary: Natasha takes a moment to remember her family.Her first family.





	

Natasha closed her door and let out a deep sigh as soon as she saw her room was empty.  As entertaining as it was to celebrate one of the many, many apparent Asgardian holidays that Thor insisted that the team celebrate, today was certainly not the day for it.  Thor had been upset that she left in the middle of what was apparently called Blorthog, the festival of friendship, and Banner had asked her to stay, but Steve had just nodded at her, and Clint had that look in his eye that meant he wouldn’t follow her, but he was there if she needed him.  The two men seemed to understand that it was important for her to celebrate this particular anniversary.

The anniversary of her family’s murder.

“JARVIS, privacy mode,” she snapped, brushing off the AI’s polite reply.  She took a small device from her pocket, an EMP generator, and pressed the button to activate it before placing it on her nightstand.  She needed quiet for this.  Peace, and quiet.  A rare commodity these days.

July seventeenth.  Nineteen eighteen.

Strange that it had been nearly a hundred years.  She could remember bits and pieces of her life before: a diamond-encrusted necklace here, a bearded man giving her a kiss on the forehead there.  A vague notion of a snowball fight, the feeling of safety and contentment.

They were memories she rarely drew up.  Better to focus on now than on then.

But she remembered that night.  She couldn’t forget, no matter how many times the Red Room had wiped it from her mind.  She suspected they never tried.  Best to leave her with a notion of loss, a show of what they could do to her, like they did to the ones she loved, the people who loved her.

She could still hear the echo of her mother’s scream, a single bullet ending her life and finishing her fall from grace.

The crack of wood as the door they had boarded up was decimated.

The blow of a bullet through her sister’s body, taking the pain as it shielded her own.

The harsh, bruising touch of the man who had stolen from her hiding place and marched her through the palace, a spoil of war to be shown and trained.

The stares as she was stripped of everything she had known, tortured until she couldn’t breathe and thought the pain would the last thing she felt, trained until she had become like the ones who had taken it all from her.

They wouldn’t even give her the dignity of her own name.  Natasha, they called her.  Christmas.

How utterly appropriate.  They chose to celebrate in her loss.

She released her grip on her bedsheets, and leaned down, letting her fingers search for the nook in the base of her bed that she knew so well.  She unlocked the box, giving her fingerprint and key code, and stared at the contents.  She ran her fingers along the smooth edges, noticing her hands shake at the simple touch.  She steeled her nerves, and lifted the tiara, carefully placing it on her head.

She looked up, into her mirror.  Her image seemed so… strange, while in her mother’s tiara.  The diamonds, hundreds of them, shone in the dim light, catching and reflecting even the slightest glint.  She shone almost like an angel, and for a moment, she almost remembered her mother’s face.  She must have been beautiful, before she was so brutally ripped away.

Natasha allowed herself to break, for just a moment.  She felt a tear run down her cheek, and saw another fall in her mirror before she could stop it.

Her sisters.

Her mother.

Her father.

Her little brother.

Gone.

They refused her even the right to have her own family, or to grow old.  Her lifespan was extended, but what use was it if she didn’t have others to spend it with?

A sharp knock at her door shattered her thoughts.  She hummed lowly, grateful that her door locked automatically, and heard Thor jovially say, “We will be starting the next activity in five minutes.  I wish for you to join us!”  She could also hear Clint speaking to him, telling him to leave her be, and she couldn’t help but smile.  “I will be out in a few moments,” she said, trying to keep her voice as steely calm as usual.  She heard their footsteps fade as they walked away, and let out another deep breath.

She took one more glimpse into her mirror, the beauty and pain a juxtaposition that made her heart ache.  She carefully, efficiently wiped away the tear marks, making sure no one could see any trace.  She delicately took of her mother’s—her own—tiara, and placed it back in the velvet-lined box.  She stood, and tenderly returned it to its hiding place, securing it in place with all the protectiveness she had left.

She stood, and walked to the door well, but stopped before she could bare unlock the door.  She took one last glance back at the concealed treasure, and straightened her spine before confidently walking towards the sound of Thor’s cheerful shouts.  Anastasia’s family was long ago, a world away.

But Natasha’s family was waiting for her.

**Author's Note:**

> Yup. She's Anastasia. I know this doesn't quite work in the timeline, but the plot bunny hopped to me one night, and I couldn't not write it!
> 
> Oh, and the title? She's wearing her mother's, Queen Alexandra's Kokoshnik Tiara. Learn more here: http://orderofsplendor.blogspot.com/2012/04/queens-top-10-diamonds-7-alexandras.html And this has been your history lesson of the day!


End file.
